She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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