"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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