We tried having a conversation with our noses.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
