i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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