Well apparently he's into motor boating.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
