Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
