I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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