A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I supernannyed him into submission
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
