3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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