they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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