what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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