can u get pink eye on your cock?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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