A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
