She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
