called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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