idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
