Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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