ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it's like heaven, but drunker
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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