You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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