The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We had sex on a dog bed..
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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