South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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