So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize