TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
