It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
