is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize