yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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