come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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