it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
