Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
