he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just tell him i said nine months
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
