You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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