Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
