Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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