Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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