I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
