I wish I could punch you in the face.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
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You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
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Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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