Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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