Say something about gay babies.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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