One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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