If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
