I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
