I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
