wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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