90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
