Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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