i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
