I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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