operation have a gay friend backfired
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
