FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
