How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We got so high we made milksteak
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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