at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
