so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
