YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cut my penus on the lid.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We are two peas in an std pod
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
