Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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