I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How naked do you want me to be?
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