Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
