Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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