Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
